BearWaller Hollar

You realize, of course, that I've been peppered with a maelstrom of personal bad luck which has all but stopped the demiurgic drivel that once spouted from my pen.
I could give you all the gory details of my wicked ill fate, but I don’t want to be a leper bore (the anger, the denial, the inevitable loss of appendages…blah, blah, blah).
No worries,
I am as resilient and ineradicable as a case of stage four cooties, and I’ve managed to work my way through the anger issues that popped up with the near loss of my dactyl phalanxes (sounds better than little pigs) by turning to Facebook. A networking site to many, a place to say hello to friends and family and indulge in meaningful conversation to others, but for me-
not so much.
I’ve stayed sane by directing my umbrage at Facebook’s MafiaWars.
Unfortunately,
I now have to get up an hour earlier just to garrote a mobster or two, bribe an elected official, or knock over a couple of liquor stores.
No matter.
It’s kept me going for the last few weeks. Just this evening I got iced by some asshole named Luigi Fettuccine. I sucker punched him four times, beat him until he died, then waited until he came back to life so I could put a hit out on him. (Did I mention the anger issues I’m working through?) While drinking cheap coffee at 6:00am I sneak in offline (lest someone should try to chat with me and mess with my concentration) I kill everyone that I can, beat up the rest, then I gather up the pumpkins I planted over at Farmville (I‘m saving for a harvester), milk the cows, and gather the eggs before heading out to Fishville. This morning I thought I’d be late for court before I could get the tank cleaning and fish training done (those Hawaiian Hogfish are dumber than owl shit. If I couldn’t learn to jump through a hoop any faster than that I‘d fillet myself).

I'll keep you posted on the harvester.